mommy milestones & the small stuff

a two part post...

mommy milestones

last night was our first "date night" since the boys were born. i had been wanting to go out, but couldn't bring myself to actually making the plans b/c that meant leaving the boys with someone for more than 30 minutes. well, after a hard week of nights and fussy days i decided to take the first step and asked HunHun if he was up for going out. i mean, it would've been nicer if HE would've asked ME or done some nice romantic gesture, but i guess we take what we can get, right? and HunHun isn't really like that anyway.. blah.. anyway, i digress. he said, yes and i called my mom to see if she could come over. a bit before the 730p feeding we were out the door. we went to a shopping center's parking lot, 'the towers', where people from around town come and park their cars and hang out. it's old school 50's, 60's, etc cars and it's nice to walk the lot looking at the different cars and how they've been hooked up. we met up some of our friends there and after a while left so we could get some dinner before coming home. we went to chilis and before our appetizer was brought to us, we were both commenting on how tired we were and how we were ready for bed! lol any other friday night, before having kiddies, we would've been barely starting our night at that hour (9pm)!! i was a good girl (new mommy) and didn't call my mom once to check in. i really tried my hardest to let go and trust my mom would be ok. and i passed! we got home, fed the babies and were in bed quickly after.

this morning, my mom had agreed to pick up the boys around their breakfast time so we could get some "catch up" sleep in. at 730am, i called her and she was here in minutes. she took the travel swings and the diaper bag to the car and after i finished w/ aiden, she took him and they were gone before 8am. i was wide awake, but went back to bed to watch tv. HunHun joined me and we knocked out in about 10 minutes!! hahaha.. we were so tired.. we slept abt 3 hours before i woke up and took a nice long shower and blow dried my hair. again, i resisted and didn't call my mom. it was so hard though, b/c i wanted to know what they were doing more than how they were doing. lol.. but i knew i had to be strong. i don't want to be clingy.. anyway, HunHun was up by the time i was out and we headed out to the mall for lunch and then went to pick up my little sea monkeys. my sister confessed that my mom commented on how she doesn't know how i do it alone during the day. and i could tell she was a bit tired by the time we got to her house..

i also went to BRU w/ them today!! ALONE! after my mom's we came home, and it was time for them to eat again. after that i put them back in the carseats and went out while they napped. it was a good trip! can't complain at all about our first outing alone.

so a couple of milestones for me in 2 days. i left them for a date and some sleep. i didn't call to check in. and the 3 of us went out alone. life w/ babies, and twins at that, is proving to be an adjustment for sure. but so far so good, right?

the small stuff

well, within the milestones, there is the small stuff that i'm happy for.

- like driving. i know it's sort of silly, but driving is something i haven't done since november! november! i stopped driving the first 2 weeks i was put on bedrest thinking i'd be released back to work after that. of course, i wasn't and i never drove again.

- make up. i know i could've worn make-up here at home to make sure i didn't get too grungy and lazy, but i didn't. i enjoyed the fact i didn't 'need' it, but now that i'm back in touch w/ my eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss, it makes me feel like "i'm back, biatches!" - - from bedrest, that is.

- my clothes. well, the little bit that fits me. i can't close or button any of my pants, which sucks major ass, but i'm back into some of my shirts and elastic waist pants and that in itself is good enough for me -- for now. due to the bedrest i didn't buy any maternity clothes to hold me over the last 2 to 3 months. i only had a couple of shirts and 2 pairs of pants that i'd rotate when i'd go to the dr's.

- holding hands w/ HunHun while being out. b/c of the bedrest we didn't go out together until the last couple of weeks. but being able to be out and hold hands reminds me of back in the day..

- my wedding ring. it's back on my finger, baby!! i took it off one day while on early bedrest and since i wasn't going out, i didn't put it back on day after day. one day, i went to put it on, and it was super tight! so, for the remainder of the pg, i didn't wear it. and now, it's back on! i'll be honest, it's still a little tight, but it fits.

- shaving my legs. for a couple of months, i had to rely on HunHun to shave my legs, once a week at that! my belly got so big, i couldn't bend over 'comfortably', and then at some point at all, to shave my legs. and now, i can do it myself! it makes me happy b/c i don't have to wait for HunHun to be free to do it. i can shave when i want now! ha!

so.. these are the little things happening to me that i wanted to share.

:)

slowly venturing out - separation anxiety?

so.. the boys are 3 weeks as of yesterday.

earlier this week, when HunHun came home, i went straight to shower. i've realized that this is my "break" and alone time. at first, i'd take quick showers and not always blowdry my hair so that i could be out quickly. after a couple of days of this, i said my usual "i'll be right out" and HunHun replied "take your time babe, we're ok.." it made me stop and notice that i wasn't taking any "me" time to disconnect and take a breather. so, i shaved my legs and blowdried my hair and i was happy i did. so now, when HunHun gets home, i make sure i jump in as soon as the boys go down for a nap or after eating. so after i showered one of the days earlier this week, i ran out to CVS to pick up pictures and make a deposit. i felt bad leaving but at the same time, it was nice to be in the outside world!

i had only been out to the Drs, for me and the sea monkeys, and i hadn't driven a car since being put on bedrest in NOVEMBER! of course, i didn't waste much time and got home promptly.

we also had an outing to our WIC appt and i'm so happy and feel lucky to say that we might be able to have some of the formula provided by WIC for this year. having 4 in the household and only 1 income right now, helped us get it. we also went to mass for ash wednesday and that was nice b/c the boys hadn't been to church yet and they got ashes too. :)

my sister asked that i pass by her house this weekend, and i'm going to make the effort b/c i've been to my mom's and BIL's (where MIL is too), so i don't want my sis feeling left out.. so my mom volunteered to take the boys early morning while we stay behind to get some catch-up sleep in and then meet them at my sister's. so, i told her ok. reluctantly, but i did agree. she really wanted to take them overnight, but i told her flat out no. they've been having fussy nights this week (which is another post altogether) and i don't think she can handle it, b/c it's 2 babies and my stepdad is scared of even holding them, so he wouldn't be a help.

HunHun commented this morning that he thinks my mom will take the boys and we'll end up staying awake instead of getting some sleep in. lol.. i have a feeling it'll happen just like that. i'll be thinking of how they're doing and if they miss us.

anyway, we'll see how it goes for them.... and me.
;)

2.5 weeks of having babies at home

it's still so incredible and fantastic to have my very own babies. i'm sure it'd be mind-blowing if i had 1 baby, but 2?!? it feels so surreal at times. well, really it's most times.

we've had a great 2 weeks though! a lot has happened and not happened too. like meals and showers, lmao! but i've managed and so had HunHun. he's been an awesome help and is doing so well w/ the boys. he's been telling his friends, "it's like seeing someone for the first time and automatically falling in love w/ them". it makes me smile that he says and feels that. he's been a champ at being daddy since the hospital stay. i'd BF and he'd change diapers, swaddle and put back to sleep. here at home, he's taken to helping me w/ 1 baby when he's home. especially at night, he takes one and i take one. when he sees i've got bottles to wash and prep, he'll do that, while i tend to the babies or prep the diaper caddy. he's such a help and i can tell, he does it for the babies and b/c he doesn't want me to do too much and get overwhelmed.

i do get sad / down when he gets frustrated at night. i know it's just b/c he's tired and mid-sleep, b/c in the morning he's chipper and happy again and the night doesn't seem to matter, but it gets to me that he's not more patient. but then again, he's not the patient kind, so i guess it's expected.

the boys...
they're doing fabulous. they're so delicious and yummy and big and strong! i love to hold them and kiss them on their neck and let them hold my finger while i bottle feed. i had to stop pumping b/c it was taking too much outta me. i hate to say it and even feel guilty b/c i wanted to give them BM as much as possible, but w/ pumping, it was like doing 3 feedings every couple of hours. i built a bit of a stash and i'll go through that. but the days i BF'd both boys was beautiful and i'll never forget it.

they are both up to 7 lbs as of their 2 week appointment! and yesterday was my due date!! i can't even believe how quickly the 40 weeks (plus the IVF time) went by rather quick.

uh-ohs.. i have one of my little sea monkeys calling out from the swing!

birth story - - 1.5 weeks late.. i wish i had more time to update..

On Thursday, February 5th, 2009 Armando and I were able to sleep in a little bit as we were scheduled to be at the hospital at 12:30 pm. We took our time getting showered and primped for the arrival of our little boys. We were giddy and so excited! We had been waiting for this day for so long!

The weather outside was very cold, for South Florida standards. We woke up to temperatures in the low 40s. So I picked up an extra 2 thick blankets and fleece onesies for the boys. Then, we decided to make time to go to Target to pick up some casual pants for Armando. We were able to get in and out fairly quick, picked up lunch for Armando and sat in the hospital parking lot for a couple of minutes, since we were early and tried to picture who the boys would look like. I enjoyed the last couple of hours of being pregnant and feeling them inside, knowing I was their protection.

We checked in w/ the surgical receptionist and within 15 minutes I was being taken to the prep bed. I was hooked up to monitors and the boys were showing great HB’s and lo and behold I was right about feeling major contractions happening, every 3 minutes or so. By 2:45 pm Dr. Silva made his way in dressed in his scrubs. Armando was sent to put on his scrubs and I was wheeled away to the OR. Dr. Silva was cracking jokes about how I didn’t even look nervous that I was going to have babies. I had a spinal put in, and it didn’t hurt much, more pressure than anything else. Automatically, I felt my legs go numb and warm and as I was laying down, all I could think was, “Am I feeling all of this? It feels numb, but I think I can still feel!” They kept checking me to make sure I was numb and I was, yet I had this awful feeling that I was going to feel all of it. I had to take deep breaths to relax. Armando was let in, finally and that made me feel more at ease. Dr. Silva starts moving my belly around and tells me they’re just checking to make sure I didn’t feel anything “and if you did, you would’ve said something already, hahaha”. I could feel my belly being pushed and pulled and I remember Armando speaking to me about Dr. Silva doing “the robot” after washing his hands, and asking me if I was alright.

Before I knew it, Dr. Silva said, “Ok, here’s the first one” and I looked up at Armando and said “what? Already?” he was looking over the curtain and said “OMG…” in amazement. “Baby boy!” and Emerson had a cry and peed on the doctors! Armando and I looked at each other and I said, “we have a baby!” I told him to go check him out and everything seemed so quick all of a sudden. And then “here’s the 2nd, it’s a boy!” this time, Dr. Silva held him up high enough for me to see. And I let out a tear, said “OMG” and with my mouth open, Aiden started to pee! I got a couple of drops on my arm, and the doctors got the rest.

Aidenwas brought over to me for me to see. I couldn’t believe he was mine! Armando came w/ Emerson and the four of us were together for the first time. My boys were beautiful! They were taken away and Armando went with them as they finished with me. I started to feel nauseous, as I always do w/ anesthesia and puked all the way to and some more while in recovery. I was in recovery for about 3 hours and was wheeled to our room. Armando kicked everyone out and they all stood in a line congratulating me as I was going in. The four of us had some time together alone, and before the rest of the families came back in, I was able to carry my sons and celebrate w/ Armando the lives we had created!

last belly pic before heading to hospital...

the four of us, together for the first time...

Time is getting closer... I've been hooked up to NST monitors for over
an hour and its showing ctxns. Both boys are doing good w/ HB's and
movement. Of course, im starved so they must be too!

Ctxns are showing to be coming at every couple of mins.

MIL and Mom are here. My mom is freaking! Lol

D-day!!

Woohoo!

So... today is the day to have some babies!! Yay!

I can't effin believe we've made it this far and that the pg is almost over and MoMmahood is abt to begin!

Just to recap on yesterday... I chilled all day at home and at night we went to olovegarden for dinner. The salad was calling my name! And I wanted to eat something that wldn't be too heavy and give me a stomachache. It was delicious!!!! I had a chicken parm w/ salad of course and HunHun had his usual fettuccini alfredo w/ chicken and shrimp.

I had an awful night though. My pubic bones cldnt have hurt me any more. And then I started having some kind of weird pinch ache by my ribs. Bleh...

This morning we woke up and hung out for a bit, took showers and packed the car w/ my bag, the boys' bag and boppies. We left at abt 11 so we cld find HunHun some jogging / chilling pants b/c we woke up w/ temps at abt 38 degrees!! Sooooo not southflorida weather. We found some at target and now we're in the hospital parking lot while HunHun eats lunch and possibly MIL shows up.

Will be back w/ updates as they happen. I did such a crappy job of blogging my pg, that I intend to make it up by blogging my labor and delivery. :)

a lot in my head but i just don't get on to get it out

• last week, i only posted a couple of days of the EXCITING 36 week mark b/c i had my SIL M here most days to hang out. she was due back to work today after a 6wk postpartum stay at home w/ baby A. i'm not sure if she just needed a break from being at her house or what, but it was nice that she was stopping by here. we took her daughters to BRU to get pics of baby A and big sister E. they pics came out so cute! and it's amazing how much A looks like E!! it makes me wonder if the boys will look alike. i've had this thing that b/c they're fraternal they'll be different completely. 1 like me and 1 like HunHun. hmm.. i guess we'll see..

• thursday i had my LAST appointment w/ Dr.R - Peri and Dr. S - OBG. it was weird to walk out and KNOW i had no more appts set. :) at the Peri appt we only had a biophysical so the last weights we had were 5.10 & 5.9 at 35+5. so... i'm hoping that by thursday we have at least another lb of weight on these babyboos. and hOops is completely transverse so i made the decision to just go ahead w/ a c/s to avoid having to deliver yOyo vag and POSSIBLY having to delivery hOops w/ emergent c/s if he falls down into my pelvis transverse.. i really wanted to attempt a vag delivery but really from day 1 knowing it was multiples, i knew i'd do whatever was easiest for the 3 of us and don't want hOops stressing while he's in utero waiting to be delivered after his brother - and i'll get back to this down below..... at the OBG, all was the same, not much more dilated, fundal height of 42cm even though it was at 44cm the week before (maybe it's less b/c hOops' position?) and urine looked great, barely swelling - he's super happy we've made it this far and had no major complications. yay!!

• on friday, HunHun was able to stay home due to no work and we did nothing productive! hahah. just hung out together. it was nice. :)

• the weekend was pretty much the same. hanging out at home and HunHun was able to work on his car build.

so saturday night was neice I's birthday get together. my sister had cake and finger food at the house for her in-laws and us to pass by and celebrate. she turned 11. unbelievable. she was just in my arms, a tiny baby. wow! ok, back to what i want to blog about. there were quite a few ppl there. from our side, my mom/stepdad, g-ma and uncle and us of course. the in-laws were my BIL's parents, 2 sisters w/ hubbies and kiddies, 4 aunts, 3 cousins. so.. a bunch of ppl and mostly women. and women that haven't seen me in months due to my bedrest. i think the last time the last time they saw me i was like 10 weeks pregnant! a little bump under my shirt. and now... i'm totally out there. i'll see if i can get pics to show a difference..

well, they've also known me since before being a teenager, so they're excited for me. they're happy i'm going to have children and that me and HunHun are doing well for ourselves.

i'll confess that i got crabby on the drive there just thinking about the attention i was going to get. and don't get me wrong. i'm not a shy, loner kind of person. i don't seek attention either, but i'm comfortable in a big group of people and don't feel i lose myself or voice.. but w/ the "novelty" of having twins, my size, first pregnancy, and pending due date i knew i'd be getting some major attention. since i've started to venture out to the market, drugstore, bookstore i get it from neighbors, i could only imagine what ppl i know would be "comfortable" saying and asking.. HunHun told me not to let it get to me before i even got there.. hmm, easier for him to say since he basically stayed w/ 'the boys' most of the evening..

so i get there, find a spot at the counter and it started... of course, the obligatory "omg! look at your stomach! you're huge! wow!" all while their eyes are halfway out of their socket and they're coming toward me to touch me. which thank goodness, i've come to the conclusion of not allowing THAT get to me, b/c if not i'd be miserable the entire pg. ppl do it w/o even noticing i think.. ok, back to the story. "so when are they due? i can't believe you're able to walk! is it heavy? but you LOOK fabulous! it's all belly! when are you going to have them?" and THEN they ask, and how are you doing? which is short-lived b/c they go back to talking among each other, as if i'm not there. comparing me to a twin mom they know, the stories they've heard of people their co-workers know, what they've seen on the tv (J&K+8) and of course now everyone seems to think that i MUST know more details abt the CA octuplets, which honestly, i've tried to not glamourize (as you've noticed i didn't even blog abt it - but think will do this week..). then it's back to touching my belly, rubbing it trying to locate a baby and feel "a kick", while they still talk among each other and i'm trying to keep up .

i think the boys must know or are spunky little boys on momma's side b/c they automatically stop moving when others come to touch my belly. heehee. in fact with all the moving they do ALL the time, they stay still when there are other ppl around and then they go back to playing when no one is rubbing or trying to prod. bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!

well, this went on for more than 30 minutes! me sitting at the counter/bar while at least 4 other women stood around me watching me eat chips and dip and comparing me to other stories they've heard about. at this point, i just nodded my head and chimed in every so often. i was starting to get hungry actually.

i guess soon, they realized that the conversation wasn't about ME anymore, so they switched and started asking "is the room ready? two cribs right? (uhm, not yet) are you packed for the hospital?" which brings me to a comment that was made that i didn't appreciate. i mean seriously.. when i explained i was scheduled to go in on thursday afternoon, they needed all the details, "induction? or a c-section? what time? no... but WHAT TIME will they be born?" WTF?!? what time will they be born? that has to be the oddest question ever! but that's not the comment i was talking about. i explained that i was scheduled for delivery, but that after my last appt i had decided to go w/ a c/s (see above). "omg but why? are you sure?" and then someone else said "oh that's the BEST thing you can do! who wants to push 2 babies out anyway, and besides they come out cuter b/c they don't go through the canal and blah blah blah" i cld see her speaking but i went deaf for a second in amazement of what she was saying! did she just say i should do this so my babies come out cuter?!? i had to stop her and tell her that was the craziest thing i had ever heard! and she tried to defend her statement, but i just interrupted her and told her i wanted to give a go vaginally, but am scared of the time in between both babies being delivered being compromised somehow. and then i stopped, i didn't want to go into detail w/ this chick. i told her i had come to the conclusion that delivering c/s w/ a transverse baby was what "I" considered to be the best for the 3 of us, not to make things easier on ME!!

at that time, the food came out and that was that.. until after everyone ate and then they came back for more.. w/ the inevitable "but WHO has twins in your family??" and i said "no one, we did in vitro, we TRANSFERRED 2 EMBRYOS and they both stuck!" and this i said loud and proud, i'm not ashamed or need them to think it's a big nasty secret 'no one' can know about.. and she answered w/ a "oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" as if i had just confirmed her silent thoughts and inquiries. i'm surprised she didn't ask me how much it cost, like other ppl have asked straight out.

so really that's where it ended.. i got up and mingled and after cake and hot chocolate, we went home and poor HunHun had to hear it on the way home. lol.. but the point of the story is, that it gets kind of tiring to get these questions over and over and how ppl just want to define you by your pregnancy. i know and do FEEL they are genuinely excited for me and HunHun, but at times it gets a little too crowded w/ questions and the 'novelty' of multiples. i love those ladies and i respect them, but i guess being this far along in the pregnancy there are days i'm crabby and others i'm not. but honestly, who wouldn't get crabby w/ questions like that?!

;)