..........
these are the words i think a lot of people were waiting for.
i. am. effin. exhausted. and. i. don't. know. what. else. i. can. do.
ever since the twins were born and even at times before i gave birth, people have been on me about how i'm holding up and inquiring about how the boys are doing and "treating" me. well, guess motherf**king what?? i'm tired. they're tired. they cry all the time. i cry sometimes. they fuss, but i can't fuss, i just gotta keep going.
the boys have been really fussy and cry-ee lately. and by lately, i mean for a couple of weeks now. it started to get worse about a week ago. i try so hard and so many things to try and get them calm and not be so upset, and sometimes it works, but for the most part it's just a repetitive cycle for hours. i feed them and then we do it again.
they just don't seem happy. except for when they're eating and burping and getting a diaper changed. then they're happy for a bit before all hell breaks loose! and in recent days they do it in unison. together. like brothers. like "twins". okay, i'm being sarcastic. it's just those are the dumb little comments i get and why i know people are just waiting for me to explode and have an attack.
i'm not taking this very well. and it's mostly b/c i feel i should be able to take care of them and make them happy and eventually figure out what is going on w/ them. i know it's not perfect science or math where there is an absolute solution to a baby's cry, but after 6 weeks (today!!) i feel like i should be able to read them better.
i do notice that when i see HunHun trying (and God bless his heart, he really does try so hard) and it's not working, i suggest something and it usually works. or in the middle of the night, i'll take the fussy baby and usually can calm him down and put him sleep. so i know that i know SOMETHING, but during the day i'm at a loss.
ok.. sorry, but i couldn't hold it in anymore. and i'm certainly not going to show it to those that ask me in my face. to those that are just waiting for me to show i can't handle it... b/c at the end of the day, that's what they'll remember - the day i broke down and that i can't handle it..
i wish i could just make them happy and then they'd have a happy-not-so-tired-zombie mommy.
Additional photos from todays shoot with the boys
4 months ago
3 click here to comment:
Susy, you and every mother out there. Doesn't matter if it's your first, second or fourteenth baby...they fuss, cry, and seem unhappy no matter what methods you use. And then they grow older and fuss about something different. I'm no expert, but I would say the increase in fussiness is likely a growth spurt. Just when you (the parent) gets settled into a routine, they go and change it up on you! What you're going through is completely normal, and nobody is expecting you to go crazy and give up. You will not fail as a mother...You're doing everything you should. You're a natural! Babies are not always known for being content, so don't fault yourself when you can't "figure them out". :) Trust me, you WILL get through this.
Sorry for giving you so much free advice. It's just that I struggled with the same things, and always felt better when someone would reassure me that I'm actually NOT a horrible mother. lol
Susy - I can't really give you any advice as my girls aren't 100% my responsibility yet - however I will tell you what my mom told me.
If they are clean, dry, fed, warm, and safe and they are still crying - put them in their cribs and go vacuum. Like Lea said - sometimes they just want to fuss.
Another thing I have noticed with my girls is that they all grunt and make this squawking sound that sounds like they are fussing - but they actually aren't. They are talking to each other - its that multiple language thing. LOL You're a great mom, honey - don't let it get you down. You love them and your doing everything you can for them.
Susy- I am no mother and can't tell you anything Leann and Sherry have said, but you are no less a mother b/c you feel like breaking. I know a ton of first time mothers and they have ALL gone through what you are. You are doing a wonderful job and things will get better. Make sure to take some time for you, even if it is just while they sleep. Your a wonderful person and I know your doing a wonderful job.
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