a couple of things about this weekend..

FALSE ALARMS - so let's start w/ all my false alarms and trips to the L&D triage. it's been a couple of days since my last visit, so it's not as fresh in my head and heart anymore. but nonetheless, i still feel a certain way.

tired. exhausted. embarrassed. mentally unbalanced.

hmm.. i wonder if those descriptions make it sound worse than what it is. but in reality, i do feel it when i hear i'll be sent home yet again. i know that it's best for hOops & yOyo to stay in as long as possible. i've done what i can to try and prevent or minimize NICU time and i know if they come too soon it defeats all of that. these emotions are all selfish and about me and how i feel about feeling contractions and pressure and yet not progressing. i know it's common for a multiples pregnancy to have PTL or contractions early b/c of the weight and pressure my body is feeling. but after time and time of being sent home, you sort of start feeling like "will this ever really happen? does my body know what to do?"

i think most of it is just that i'm feeling tired and have been feeling the stress my body is feeling. the physical part of this, now... in the homestretch is most likely what has me like this. i know i'll make it, we'll get through this. we have to! lol

STRETCHMARKS - they're coming in full force now. the first ones i saw were a couple of weeks ago. i'd say maybe early december :???: they were on my hips and definitely there. dark pink. maybe 3 or 4 on each side. the left side was more noticeable. then a cpl of weeks ago, i noticed i had some sideways ones over my belly button. these were light and skinny and i thought, 'how weird, they're sideways..' well, since then, the hip ones have gotten "stronger" and bigger and the ones over my belly button are stretching from side to side of my belly. i knew, i wouldn't escape this pg w/o getting them. i knew i'd be growing bigger than a singleton. but seeing them is a reality check of how my body will be or might be after birth for a very long time. this won't be easy weight and leftover skin to get rid of, i think. but they're my warwounds of my jouney through this pg that i wanted so much. of these babies i love so much.

SHOPPING FOR GIRLS - and to end this post on a light note.. i thought i'd share that i may be losing my knack for shopping.. for girls.. like me! we went to BRU to pick up a quick gift for M for her babygirl. i decided to get her bathstuff, so i picked out this super cute hoody bathrobe w/ matching terry cloth booties. so i decided to get some toys to add and i started picking all the "boy color" ones. HunHun had to point out what i was picking up instead of the 'butterflies and flowers' next to it.. hahha. my boys have changed me. :) yay team blue!