it's been a while

I believe its been over a month since I've posted. Idk if anyone is out there reading or looking for updates or if you slowly went away the way I did w/ this blog. It really weren't my intentions to stop blogging.

I started blogging (writing/reading/commenting) when I had less work to do at work, so I'd be on my phone allday reading and being supportive. I suddenly had more responsibilities and of course the pregnancy had me a little in the clouds instead of in my normal routine.

There is also the fact that I didn't know how to approach and share the joy of my pregnancy b/c of being through the IF circles so long and sooo deep. I didn't know how to come off as being sensitive yet believable. It happened in my blogworld, and it happened IRL, in a sense.

I am 13w2d today. I noticed the other day I couldn't believe how and when I made it this far. I made it out of the 1st trimester and was well on my way to the 2nd and 3rd. I'm not saying that I've taken my pregnancy for granted, b/c I haven't. But there have been moments I guess I downplay for the sake of not allowing myself to forget what we've been through to get here.

I had another scare a wk or so ago. I bled bright red. I was back in the ER getting a pelvic exam and u/s to make sure we still had hoops & yoyo. I guess in a way I since I wasn't having m/s or 'major' symptoms, I wasn't 'taking it easy' to an extreme. I didn't run, jump, heavylift, or anything like that. I wasn't careless, but I guess trying to be a little bit 'normal' I mightve taken it a bit too far. I was sweeping my house when it happened. I figured sweeping wasn't so bad... but it was, that day.

The babies are doing well so far. At the u/s we saw them both and they LOOK like babies! The u/s before that they looked like little worms. My NT is in 2 days and I'm excited, yet nervous.

My boobs are bigger. Not greatly but they are. The deal w/ my boobs is they get fatter on the sides and bottom instead of the middle or all around even. But they're bigger.

I am showing. There's no hiding it. Not that I was, well except for my job for like what 2 wks?! Well as one co-worker said, it looks like I've got a basketball inder my shirt. Nice! But I've only gained like 2 lbs. Hmm, im not sure what to think of that. Are the babies getting enough? They must be, im eating all day long!

We started working on the baby shower. I read that for MoMs its better to do at abt 25 wks. I'll be abt that by thn... which is abt 10 wks away! Not much of time for planning.

The babies' room is still a mess. Need to keep nagging HunHun abt that.

I'm back on FF and I'm happy to be.

Everyone and their mom has something to do and say w/ my freakin shoes! Since ERetrieval, I've been wearing the same ugly wedge shoes to work. that wld be what, 4 months of the same ugly shoes EVERYDAY to work. I gave up my heels for the sake of being more comfortable and the babies to not feel any bouncing caused by walking in heels... and I still get grief for wearing a 1.5 to 2 inch wedge. My mom says that if I fall from "up here" wearing a wedge I'll get more hurt. I do understand the twisted ankle thing if I trip, but isn't that just as possible in flats? Thank u for being concerned. I know I'll have to hang the wedges up soon for flats but I don't think I've gotten there yet.

I don't do major cleaning anymore. HunHun has taken over the chores. He brings me the laundry and I'll fold sitting down. If he hears something fall, he tells me he'll pick it up. He cooks most nights too. He's been really good at trying to get me to do as little as possible. He's been great.

I think that's most of what's been going on with me... I'm sure I left out a bunch.

But I do promise, to update more often and be honest of what I feel and am experiencing. I'm so happy I'm here! To be pregnant with twins! It deserves the same attention I gave my IF.

cabin fever

I ventured out this weekend.

Ever since 4th of july weekend when I was confined to bedrest for a SC tear, I haven't really gone out except for work and the dr's. (Which I try and squeeze in the same trip)

During the week HunHun went food shopping, went to buy me my first "official" waist band maternity pants for work, and cleaned up throughtout the house. On the night of his usual "hangout" w/ the car club, he stayed in w/ me to lounge in bed all evening, including dinner in bed.

Friday night he went fishing in keywest w/ his brother. These trips are overnight. So I knew I'd be home alone from friday abt 7pm until saturday 3pm. I was sort of glad to have some time to myself, b/c I didn't get it when HunHun stayed in on his "hangout" night. Except I didn't want to spend it on the couch watching bad TV.

Friday night I went to return a babybook we bought for a twins book. I also bought a children's book I want to read to my bump at night. I then went to blockbuster trying to find ricki lakes's "the business of birthing". They didn't have it. Bleh. Ended up renting "untraceable" w/ diane lane and "vantage point" w/ dennis quaid (is it?). Bought some chicken nuggets from micky d's and went home to watch untraceable. Nice quiet night by myself.

Saturday, I realized my little venturing the evening before hadn't cured the cabin fever, so I went to babies r us to walk the aisles and see what twinnie stuff they have. Not much of a selection, as suspected. I buy 2 picture frames, and I start to realize it's sinking in. A book the evening before, and now frames... we're having a baby?! TWO babies?!? Wow... this.is.happening... well, my Sis calls and says she's across the street at the mall. I drive over and meet her at macy's. She's shopping for Neice A's bday. We stop by 'motherhood' for a shirt or two. After she throws me a bunch of shirts to try on, I do thinking, this is fun. At first glance when I take off my shirt I hear a big, "O.M.G!!" and see my sister looking down at my belly. Lol. I doesn't bother me, I just say smiling, "I know, right?" As I get dressed she runs to the register w/ a dress & 2 shirts to buy me. Enjoy!! I buy the other 2 I originally went in for. Psyched!!! A nice wardrobe ro hold me down for a cpl of months. We walk to penny's to exchange 2 shirts and that's where I stop. I cldnt believe I was tired..

Surprisingly I wasn't hungry, since I've been feeling icky lately. But I realized the night before chicken nuggets went down yummingly. I pass by publix and buy a bag. Eat when I get home and take a nap. By the time I wake up HunHun is home! Yay! How I missed him! Except, apparently, he's not feeling the same way, gives me and the bump a kiss, takes a shower and as soon as sitting on the couch w/ me, falls asleep. That's it. I lost him for the rest of the night. He's exhausted.

Sunday was nice, we went to mass at my mom's church and then had pastelitos (cuban pastries) at her house w/ juice. We then visited MIL and had lunch there, talked strollers, and went home to watch 'vantage point' before returning it.

We should've had sex. But we didn't b/c we fell asleep watching tv. We're both in the mood and with being restricted throughout IVF due to ER / ET, his uncertainty after BFP, and last week's spotting, we haven't had many chances to have a little fun.

All in all, I'm glad I was out getting some air and DOING something, but I can already feel this week I'll be a homebody. Lol. So much for trying to get rid of cabin fever.

food and graduation day

Strangely, or maybe not so strange, I haven't had a bad icky 1st tri. The last cpl of days I notice feeling a little icky but nothing bad or really to speak abt. No m/s, no food aversions, even though my sense of smell is stronger. I'm not HORRENDOUSLY tired or out of energy. I get sleepy after I eat but at work I shake it off after 30 mins or so. I feel for the pg buddies that have had a hard 1st cpl of wks. I wish everyone cld just feel great.

As for food I have a funny one to share. 2 days ago I went to 7-11 to buy a milk b/c the milk had spoiled at my house (before the printed date) and I hadn't had milk in 2 days or so. I then decide to look for b/fast and walk past the totinos pizza rolls and I HAD TO have them. So... I had pizza rolls w/ chocolate milk for breakfast. Lol I KNOW its gross but it was so good!

Today I graduated! I am released from my RE and am officially off to see my OB. The appt was already set for 2.5 wks from now already. They had me scheduled for a followup pap for my LGSIL so they just made the note that its prenatal too. I'll be 10w3d at that point. Idk how we get through these 2ww's. They're never over it seems!

I also found out another chick is pg at my job. She's 14 wks and no one really knows. Only a few of her close friends here and her vp. She heard someone talking to me and later emailed me to congratulate and share her secret. I now have another pg person in the 3 parts of my life. Family, friends and work. Wow.

And I know they don't read this, but I wanna say thanks to my girls, M and V (my preggy friend) for passing by and hanging w/ me on tuesday. It was nice to just hangout at home w/ ya'll. Iloveyou. And V, I'm hoping that your ickiness goes away soon.

spotting for the holiday

**i'm ok, and better news at the end if you want to skip ahead and come back..

i started spotting (first, since starting starting stims) on thursday at work. i tried to not freak b/c i've read that spotting is common and it wasn't bright red flow. i first noticed it at around 10ish but i forgot my liner so i couldn't tell b/c i had pink undies so i cldn't tell if it was dark spotting or just a wetspot on my panties.. i wipe and see it's a bit brownish, i try to not freak and go back to work. after lunch, i checked again and i wiped BEFORE pee'ing and there it was. pink/brown creamy-like cm. on the tp it looked the size of teaspoon. it was wet enough to not dry instantly.

at this point i freaked.

after waiting so long to get pg, i was freaking out that i might lose my babies. or 1 of the 2. i know it happens and i was so scared.

after speaking to HunHun i decided to wait it out the 2hrs left in the workday to go to the ER. (not a typo, i chose the ER instead of the RE b/c at self-pay price of $400 an u/s, my ER copay is cheaper). i couldn't work and after 5 minutes of hanging up, i packed up my purse and left.

at the ER, the dr checked and said my cervix was closed and he wasn't worried of m/c. the u/s revealed a 'sub-chorionic tear' where babyA's placenta is trying to attach. i was told to stay on bedrest the long weekend and call the RE monday. they said these tend to resolve on their own, i just need to take it easy and stay off my feet. the RE's office said the same and to not do too much or walk too much. my next u/s appointment is still set for thursday morning.

after this scare, there is a silver lining... WE SAW 2 HEARTBEATS!!!!!! woohoo! the u/s did show 2 beating hearts, 1 @ 120bpm and another @ 122bpm. they're both measuring on time time too.

so i'm "taking it easy" after 3 days of bedrest. luckily w/ my cubicle job it's easy to sit w/ my feet up on a box.
=]

6wk belly pic

this is just a quick pic post b/c i can't edit or add pics w/ my sidekick.. so i thouht i'd add the pic now and write my post from work on my phone. AND (nancy!) i added a ticker to the top of my sidebar. except, now i feel i should find one that more accurate. in order for it to show my actual wks i have to put a EDD of a singleton, but then if you notice the days left will be wrong since twinnies full term is abt 36 wks, right? so, if i put the twinEDD, it'll put that i'm 3 wks more than i really am. bleh. so... i just put how many wks i actually am. b/c it's not like it says an ACTUAL EDD on the ticker anyway, right?

ok gotta run, i wanna grab some o.j. before work.